Bingo Jokes

Question: What has a few little balls and screws old ladies all day long?

Answer: A bingo machine

How can you make a room full of older ladies swear at the same time?

Scream: Bingo!

Mary was talking on the phone with one of her good friends Joan. She was complaining a lot about the fact that her husband is good for nothing. After that Joan said that her husband asked her to choose between bingo and him, she is going to miss him.

Back at the All Blonde Bingo hall it was a Ladies Night. Everything turned out to be pretty boring and after a few very long games when no one shouted BINGO, it was the final game and the bingo prize managed to reach a huge jackpot of $3,500. The bingo caller managed to call all the numbers for this round and still no one in the room said bingo, so he asked what number you are missing so everybody said: “Empty space”.

How can you get a barn full of cows?

Hang a “Bingo” sign at the entrance.

An old lady went to play bingo and she got the chance to choose the bingo cards. While looking around she saw a fly that landed on a specific bingo card. She took that as a lucky sign and got immediately that card. Later on she never managed to win anything so she said: “That must have been the house fly”.

There were two friends playing bingo at the church and one of them just kept on looking over the other’s bingo card and just kept on telling him to write off the numbers that were called. It happened a couple of times, until he got mad and asked him to buy a bingo card of his own or play the ones that he already has. The answer was: “I can’t, it’s already full”.

Question: How is bingo played back in Afghanistan?

Answer: B-52

Q: How do you get a sweet 80 years old lady to say the F word?

A: Get another 80 years old lady to say bingo next to her.

Try not to take your bingo too seriously, because at the end of the day you will find that it’s just a load of balls.

A the psychology university the teacher that just finished a long lecture about mental health wanted to do a quick oral quiz for the students. The course was about the manic depression so the question of the teacher was: What diagnose would you give to a person that sits quietly and minds his own business calmly and after that all of a sudden it start swearing the next minute all over the place?

The answer coming from a young student that just raised her hand was: “Bingo Player”.